For the Best
by Pannecake
Summary: Set after the series and before the movie, Roy only feels welcome in places as warm as his heart. At this moment, he can only take comfort in the cold. Riza hopes she can change that. Royai RomanceAngst
1. for the best

Title: For the best

Summary: Set after the series and before the movie, Roy only feels welcome in places as warm as his heart. At this moment, he can only take comfort in the cold. Riza hopes she can change that.

Disclaimer: I don't own Full Metal Alchemist... otherwise I would've just popped the movie in my DVD player instead of looking all over the net for an English stream.

A/N: ... So my first FMA fic... its a one shot... so enjoy... and erm.. tell me if it's good or not... a

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Riza looked out at the snow rolling past the windows in a flurry. The white washed ground making her feel cold under the many many layers she was wearing. She looked away and at her gloved hands. She bit back the painful memories that were daring to be dredged up by this journey. A single tear fell reluctantly onto her lap as the memories swam back. 

_-flashback-_

_Hawkeye strolled into the General's office, hoping to catch the General to discuss what they would be doing now that he was fully healed. She saw boxes stacked and piled up all around the room and a one eyed General sitting amongst them. Black Hayate barked with glee upon seeing the General. She let the leash fall to the ground without care and walked to the General._

_"Brigadier General Mustang?" She asked, looking at the man she had always loved._

_"Ah, Hawkeye." He stated, holding back his gloom. "Come to see me off?"_

_"Off?" She asked in confusion._

_"I've demoted myself. Lower rank than you are. It's Corporal Mustang." He stated, shoving a photo into a box. "I've asked for reassignment up north."_

_"Sir-" She wanted to argue._

_"The decision is final Hawkeye." He stated, knowing she would put up a fight._

_"Let me come with you then." she whispered. _

_"You can't." He whispered back._

_"I've devoted my life to protecting you Sir, I won't stop now." She stated, her eyes full of grief._

_"Now its my turn to protect you." He stood up with boxes in his arms. He left her sitting on the floor as he walked out the door. He stopped in the door frame for a moment. "Goodbye... Riza."_

_-end Flashback-_

Hawkeye hugged herself as the train flew deeper into the northern snow. It was only a matter of minutes until she reached the stop near the Corporal's post. She waited patiently, hoping to surprise him. She grasped a photo tightly in her hand. The picture was of Hughes' daughter, Gracia had asked her to show the Corporal. The train slowed to a stop and Riza rose from her seat, gathering her luggage. She smiled as she recalled telling her friends she was using her overdue vacation days to go to somewhere warm with a beach. She would never admit to them that she was visiting the Corporal, they would get the wrong idea, or worse, the right one.

She stepped off the train into the harsh snowy air. The wind blew her blonde locks fiercely as she trudged through the deep snow. She hated the deep snow, the biting cold, the sting of the wind against her skin, but there was one thing she hated more.. and that was not seeing Mustang. She saw the small lantern hanging outside the battered post and quickly trudged through the snow and to the door.

Roy inwardly swore as he tried to light the damn fire. It was colder now and he needed some warmth to keep him from doing something stupid. Like setting the whole damn cabin on fire. He so very much wished he could see it go up in flames and then return to central, where a warm bed and the face of Riza Hawkeye awaited him, but he was too cold for central. He belonged in place where his heart wouldn't feel under the flame. Though his specialty was flame alchemy, he had never managed to thaw out his heart. He glared at the matches in anger.

The front door blew open and he assumed it was the person who came once a month to collect his reports. "They're on the table."

He heard shuffling and the sound of clothes begin removed. "I can't get a fire started so don't bother."

Still he could hear the coats being hung on hooks. He rolled his eyes and went back to the stubborn matches. He heard the click of boots against the worn floor boards getting closer. "Look I really don't have time for you, just leave."

He felt warm arms envelope him and a familiar set of hands grasp his. "At least let me help you get the fire started." She whispered in his ear. "Then I'll leave." She moved his hands and struck the match into flames then helped him place it in the fire. She took her arms out from around him and stood up. He did so too and turned to face the woman who had lingered on his mind for the past few months.

"Hawkeye." He stated, saluting.

"No need for formalities Sir." She stated. "I'm not here on business."

Roy looked at her oddly. No wonder she was dressed in her civilian clothes and her hair hung freely past her shoulders.

"Why would you come all the way out here for anything other than business?" Roy asked. "I didn't think you liked snow Hawkeye."

"Please, call me Riza." She stated taking a step closer to him. "And I hate snow, but I missed you sir."

"Ahah, RIZA, call me Roy." He stated, trying to make the tone of the room lighter. It didn't work, it just came out as depressing as his other words had over the past few months.

She nodded. "Sorry Roy, I missed you." She smiled sadly. "By you I mean your paperwork." She chuckled awkwardly. "Or lack thereof."

Roy smiled weakly. "Take a seat Riza, would you like some tea?"

Riza nodded and took a seat on a blanket near the fire. She warmed her wind frozen hands and smiled at the feel of it. It reminded her of Roy, not because of his alchemy, or her father's, but because of his heart. Despite his beliefs, he was a very warm hearted man. She became lost in thought and before she knew it Roy was entering in with a tray of tea. He handed her a cup which she gladly took. He lowered himself to the spot next to Riza and looked at the fire. Both had memories playing through their minds as they looked into the enchanting flames.

"Why'd you really come here Riza?" He finally asked.

She sighed. "I want you back at Central sir." She looked into her cup of tea.

"Riza, we discussed this already. My place isn't there, just like yours isn't here." Roy stated. "You shouldn't spend your vacation days with a cold hearted man like me. You should enjoy yourself."

Riza shook her head. "I couldn't do that."

"Don't feel obligated to spend time with me, I'm a grown man capable of taking care of myself." Roy stated, anger in his voice.

"I don't feel obligated, Roy, I am." She looked away. "My heart.." She turned red and looked away. "I just knew I needed to be here. With you sir."

He nodded, ignoring the feeling he had felt for as long as he had known her. They sat in silence once again watching the flames dance. Riza was reminded of her long nights helping him with paper work, the time he had spent in her father's home, the time they had shared together. She yawned and leaned sleepily into his shoulder. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and sighed. He thought about all he had left when he made his decision. The thing that weighed the most though was his relationship with Riza. They were getting off to such a good second start and then he ran away. He never stopped running on first signs of his heart thawing. He needed it to stay cold, otherwise he would be in a place he was not familiar with. Still at this moment he felt it slowly drip a sure sign the ice was cracking all thanks to the blonde woman next to him.

"Riza?" He suddenly asked, causing the girl to tilt her head up to him. "I'm sorry."

"There is nothing to be sorry about, Roy." She smiled gently.

"I'm sorry that I threw it all away." He muttered. "That I let my fear get the best of me and that I ran."

Riza looked at him in curiosity. "What Roy?"

"Just tell me you forgive me." He stated. "just say it."

"I forgive you Roy." she stated. "I'll always forgive you."

He shook his head. "Why do you always do that?"

"Do what?" She asked.

"You never get mad at me Riza!" He yelled in frustration. "Why don't you hate me?!"

"I can't hate you." She stated.

"I want you to hate me Riza! I want you to hate me beyond reason!" He shouted, getting up and letting the alchemist fall to the floor. "I don't want you to keep loving me!"

She glared up at him. "I can't hate you, no matter what you say Roy."

"I want you to hate me!" He shouted back at her.

"WHY?" She stood to her full height and looked Roy square in the eye. "Why do you want em to hate you?"

"Because it would be easier." he stated, sighing. He rubbed the bridge of his nose and looked away from Riza.

"Roy?" she asked, stepping closer. "what do you mean."

"If you hated me, it would be easier for me to be here." He stated, avoiding eye contact with Riza. "Even though the war is over for now, its a daily battle being here and not at central with you."

She looked away. "Do you want me to hate you?"

Roy took a breath and thought on it.

"Would it honestly be easier if I were to hate you and walk out that door, mad and hurt?" Riza asked. "Would it really be for the better? Roy my heart would have to be shattered completely... if I were to hate you.. so tell me," she placed a hand on his cheek and made their eyes meet. "would it be easier?"

He turned his gaze away.

"I see." She let her hand fall to her side. She looked away. "It would be easier, wouldn't it? Just to move on with our lives," She walked away from Roy and went to the coat rack. "Find new people," She bit back the tears that were threatening to fall as she slipped on her coats. "Forget everything that we ever felt?"

Roy looked at the floor, his heart heavy.

She opened the door. "Goodbye Roy."

He didn't dare look at her amber eyes, he knew they would hold pain. "Goodbye Riza."

She paused at the door before opening it. "Love is easier than hate, Roy, and much less painful."

She walked out the door and shut it behind her and for a moment, he felt regret. Then again he had just broken her heart, and in doing so he hoped he had set her free. That she was no longer trapped beneath the ice of his heart. He hoped some one would warm her and love her, so that she would not end up like him; a cold, heartless, damaged person with no hope. He heard a gentle sob being carried in the wind and a train whistle blowing. It was now or never to go after her, to tell her that he had never loved anyone but her. He walked to the door and let his hand linger on the knob before letting it fall. It was for the best, even if she didn't see it yet.

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A/N: what do you think...? 


	2. Finally

A/N: I needed to turn this into a two shot..somethnig compelled me to do so.

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Riza trudged through the heavy snow to the train that would lead back to central. She tried to keep from crying, the tears stinging her cheeks from the cold windy contact. She stepped forward once more, her feet sinking deeper into the snow. She hated him, that was what he wanted, he would get that. She would give him anything to make him happy, even though she knew that never would make him happy. She had seen the look in his eyes all the days she had spent helping him on the slow path to recovery. He loved her, then again it was silly to think such things. He was her commanding officer, he would never let any feelings develop between them. She felt foolish and led on. She trudged forward ignoring the sound of the train departing. Then it hit her, the rain was leaving. She pressed forward, faster than before. Tears streaming like a waterfall. She had to get out, away from him, away from the pain. Though she knew that no distance would stop the ache. She fell forward into the snow. She looked up at the snowy sky and sighed. Was there really any reason left to press forward. She had lost Roy, she had lost the job of protecting him, she had lost what kept her going. Why bother? She let her eyes slide shut as the snow poured down on her. If she were lucky, maybe her heart would freeze too, then she and Roy wouldn't be so different. Though deep down she knew that a thin layer of ice had already begun to coat it.

Roy sat before the fire, a cup of tea in his hand. Why had he let her walk out the door? Why had he let her walk away from him? Why had he said such unfeeling word to the woman he loved? Love, what a word. It meant nothing to him. It meant nothing to Riza.A word like love was used too much these days and had become to mean so little. His feelings for Riza were beyond love. They were feelings of loyalty, respect, history, bonds that could not be broken. He could never love her. Love meant nothing. It was just four letter shoved together in order to properly voice the feelings. But it was still just a word. Roy proffered action, so did Riza. She had come all the way out there in her free time to see him, to beg him to come home. He had responded by trying to protect her, in the end only hurting her. He supposed the Riza was much better at love than he was. She felt too much, and he felt too little. He stood and placed the cup on the table. He could still catch Riza if he wanted. Maybe he could show her how much he loved her. He pulled on his coat and opened the door.

He felt like an ass.

He trudged through the snow to the station. The walk painful and the wind stinging. He had never felt so cold before in his life. He had never felt so stupid, so open, so angry. He wanted to take his gun and kill himself for being so heartless to the woman he had cared for so deeply. He arrive at the station just as the train pulled away. He ran after it, his heart beating frantically. He needed to stop her. He felt like a scene out of a romance novel, not that he read them. He ran and ran and ran. He couldn't let her go, he coudln't let her leave. He didn't want her to take his advice. He as a fool and an liar. The train pulled away leaving a breathless Mustang staring off it with regret.

"She'll never know." He panted. He threw a punch at the wall. "I'm stupid."

He felt a frozen tear slide down his face, as cold as ice, as cold as his heart. He didn't know why, but more tears followed. He wasn't sure what was happening to himself. He realized what a fool he had been in those moment, running after the train, after Riza. He had given up everything, his dreams, his aspirations, his job, Riza.Why? Because he was scared. Because he hated who he had become. Because he knew that Riza would never want a defect like him. H wiped at the tears.

"I wish I could tell her." He whispered.

"Tell who, what?" A familiar voice whispered.

Roy turned around to see Riza sitting on a bench behind him, she was covered in snow as was her luggage.

He felt his heart leap out of his chest. "R-Riza?"

She stood up and walked over to him. "Roy, I missed the train on purpose."

"Oh." He stated, looking away.

"I fell in the snow." She stated. He decided then that snow was his worst enemy for hurting Riza but his best friend for making her miss her train. "As I just lied there in the snow I thought of just giving up." Roy felt a pang in his heart. "Just letting the snow cover me and letting me fade away like a memory. Then I saw you in my mind, how you would feel. The pain that you would feel. I care for you too much to die. I'd bring myself back from the dead just to keep you smiling."

"Riza, you know how I feel about Homonculi." He stated.

She smiled. "I'm not done Roy. I realized then that there was no point in catching that train, just like there was no point in listening to your orders. A. because I'm a higher ranking officer than you, and B. I love you too much to let you throw this away."

"Don't use that word, Riza." He stated, stepping forward."It doesn't say enough."

He tilted her chin up and saw tears streak violently down her cheeks. He leaned in and placed a kiss against her cold lips. He felt his heart on fire, melting away the pain and suffering. She was the only one who could make him feel that way. She kissed him back just as soft with just as much feeling. He pulled away.

"Riza," he stated. "I want you to get on the next rain, back to central."

She frowned. "Roy-"

He placed a finger against her lips. "I'll be back one day, I promise, and when that day comes, I'll never leave your side again."

"Promise?" She asked, her eyes filled with tears.

He nodded. "I'd give you the world Riza, but all I have his my word."

A train pulled forward moment later. He gave her one last small kiss before waving her off on the train. She smiled at him from the window and he watched te train depart well after it had left the station. He palced a hand over his heart. He felt an odd sensation, a sensation he hadn't felt in ages. He felt a slow steady thump. His heart had finally begun to beat again.


End file.
